I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
