careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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