the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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