Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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