Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
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