Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
