When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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