its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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