So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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