We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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