Girls should come with a carfax report
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
