If that was your dad, he is hot
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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