Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
