I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
