Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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