no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize