genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
