You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
