I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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