You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
We have started to decorate penises.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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