just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
