I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize