R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
