yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
