we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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