if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
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