i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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