It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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