im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Randomize
