i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
