yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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