And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
