I want to have your abortion
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
