no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
