Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
