When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
