so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
