I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
