Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Just puked most of my soul out..
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
