All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I would fuck him just for his dog
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
