I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
