I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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