I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
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