well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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