You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
