Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Randomize
