why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I wannas sexs uuuuu
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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