yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
