I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
