I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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