All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Michael Bay diarrhea
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
