you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
