So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Randomize
