so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Im part way to drunk.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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