No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
