I'm going to jail i love you
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
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