If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
