can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize