just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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